OK, Let's Move On... To BOTOX!

Please. Because, I reaaaaaaaally don't need the additional stress,
ya know? So can we talk about botox for a minute here? Yes, I
get botox injections. Four time per year. And my insurance pays
for it. That's because most of it goes in my neck and shoulders, and
the rest of it goes in my forehead. You might think that I'd walk a-
round looking like one of those automotons, but noooo... Not me.
Why? Because like everything else in medicine, my body is just
weird.

The botox doesn't do its civic duty and totally paralyze my facial or
neck and shoulder muscles. (Of course I don't get it in all of my
neck muscles because then if it worked, I wouldn't be able to hold
my head up and I'd have to get rings of gold around it to prop it up
like that one African tribe in... well, wherever the fuck they are.)

So, I have apparently developed somewhat of an immunity to botu-
lism and the botox only partially paralyzes my muscles. The entire
idea behind using botox for migraine and headache relief is that when
you have a headache it becomes a vicious cycle. Your muscles con-
tract from the pain, and then they become sore, they throb, which
makes your headache worse, and so on and so forth.

So the theory is that by paralyzing the muscles, it cuts down on the in-
tensity of the headache. And I do think it helps somewhat, otherwise
I wouldn't go back and let them keep sticking me with tiny little need-
les and shooting me with toxins right under my skin.

Of course, the bonus is that she always sends me home with lortab
and muscle relaxants. So that's always fun.