Saturday, September 10, 2005

The How To's of Alien Abduction

Ok, so I have a few questions. I just got finished watching a show
on alien abductions and UFO's. Which of course, are two different
albeit related subjects, on the Geographic channel (hosted by Peter
Jennings - may he rest in peace). I just realized, oddly, that as I
write this, Peter may already have the answer to all of the ques-
tions I'm about to ask, and who would have known when the broad-
cast originally aired. How odd. Not really a way one can quiz him
on it though is there. I mean, if Houdini's wife couldn't get through
to him on the other side after all was said and done, I don't lay very
good odds on anyone else. After all, Houdini could escape from any-
thing.

But as usual, I digress. So back to my questions. If an alien abducts
you and you're sleeping with your cat, does the cat come too? I'm
just wondering. My cat doesn't really like loud noises. It probably
doesn't matter, she disappears under the bed at the first sign of com-
pany anyway. How come aliens are so obsessed with sex organs and
reproduction? That's never made a lot of sense to me. Now we all
know who IS obsessed sex don't we? Yep. People. Billion dollar in-
dustry. huh. Coincidence? (And hey, not that there's anything
WRONG with loving sex - don't get me wrong)

And here's my last question. When aliens abduct you, do they do any-
thing to your home environment? I'm actually asking this hopefully.
I mean, if everything is so easy for them that they can can whisk you
out of bed and up to their spaceship on an energy ray then how's
about a little dusting and telekinetic emptying of the trash while
they're at it. I mean, if aliens came to my house, I'd think it would be
the least they could do while they're looking at my twat and poking
around everywhere.

Come to think of it, if there's a spaceship in my neighborhood, beam
me up. I wanna see what all of the hype is about.

9 comments:

coloradohurricane said...

Some answers(maybe):

Since obviously aliens are able to avoid detection by sophisticated government equipment, I'm sure they would have the technology to avoid taking your cat. Who knows ? They might not even be interested in your clothes either, and be able to beam you up sans clothing.

Which brings up the next question about sex and reproduction. Either they are extremely perverted, asexual and curious about sentient beings who might want sex, and/or they are interested in a slave race and might want to mass produce us. If you are abducted, they might just be making clones of you to use as labor on the homeworld.

As for aliens taking out the trash, it's possible if they stumble over your trashcan or something while looking through your house that they might. They would do so not as a favor to the human they violated, but simply to cover any sign that they were there.

Hope this helps.

Sydney said...

Right. They can beam us up without our clothing yet they need us for slave labor. I just see a lot of inherent flaws in logic with all of these arguments.

A society advanced enough to visit us wouldn't need to rely on sentient beings for labor. And their interest in us for prurient sexual reasons would probably be nil. Although, hey, if that's NOT true, PLEASE ABDUCT ME. Could be hot.

So until and unless I myself am abducted... OR someone can offer up any reasonable argument as to why they would have any interest in abducting humans. I gotta say bunk on this one.

Ranger Tom said...

Ok, I'm a firm believer in aliens...

Hear me out. Go into my archives on my blog and you'll understand.

I was a cop for 10 years in Philadelphia. I was convinced that the UFO's were landing every full moon and the little spacemen were finding me...

Nit Wit said...

People think they are taking cells and making clones for slave labor. Why else the anal probing of male abductees.
I believe that there are aliens but I think they are smart enough to know not to interact with us. I mean if they do the lawyers may get a foot into the rest of the universe.

Sydney said...

I didn't say I didn't believe in life on other planets. I believe that possibility exists certainly. I just don't see the logic in aliens abducting people from earth. If anyone could give me a logical reason why they would need to do that, and I've already explained why the slave labor reason isnt logical, then I would entertain it.

Teressa said...

Syd, you know me, and know that I am a strong Christian. I do believe that there could be other life on other planets though. If God can create us here why not others elsewhere? Maybe not in his likeness as we are but in other forms.

God bless,
Teressa

Ranger Tom said...

I know what you were saying Syd... I was just being a smartass.

To think that we are the only ones in the vastness of the universe, with it's billions of galaxies and those with trillions of stars...

Well, to think that we're the only ones in pretty damn arrogant, isn't it.

There's life out there.

The fact that they're visiting us, abducting us, giving us anal probes in the night...

Weeelllll... I don't buy it.

Cloud 9 Driver said...

I am not one of the "brainwashed" but most accounts of abductions discuss medical procedures, that albeit appearing sexual, may be tissue and cell harvesting. Females are subjected to a needle through the abdomen, which could be a sampling of eggs, and men get milked. If you have read any books by Sitchin, then you know where I am going with this. They are coming back to check on the experiment. The 12th Planet is due back soon.

Col. D.J. Michales said...

Col. D.J. Michales,

I was once a guard at a facility in Nevada, I can say ive seen some odd things at the facility that could not be manufactured on this World, but have never seen any evidence that the beings that visit our planet our abducting anyone!