Sunday, March 18, 2007

Good One

Those who know me well know that I am nothing if not
even-handed. So I must give props to the shrubster
(or his writers), whomever, for the following quotes.
I have been having no small amount of fun with my
little GW Bush Quote re-generator. So many mala-
propisms, so little time...

However, the following two quotes represent perhaps
the only two times that I find that Bush said something
that I find to be genuinely laugh out loud funny, some-
times even at his own expense. That is to say, he said
something clever. Twice.

Oh sure, it was four years years apart and the man
is the leader of the greatest civilized country in the
world, but what do you want from him anyway?
Don't answer that. I don't have enough space in my
comment section. It was merely rhetorical in nature.

With no further ado:

I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of
place where people stand outside, they're getting ready
to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and
get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man,
you're looking pretty.

--George w. Bush Washington, DC11/04/2004

now obviously, GW heard this somewhere, or it was
written for him. It doesn't fit his pattern of speech.
But it's funny as hell. And even more than that, oh so
true. And after having already spent four years in
office, Bush must have also seen this phenomenon
first-hand many many times.
"We just had some really good news out of Yugoslavia.
I'm especially pleased that Mr. Milosevic has stepped
down. That's one less Polyslavic name for me to remem-
- George W. Bush October 19, 2000 Speaking at the

Al Smith Dinner in New York.

This one is great on several levels. First, Bush got
creamed during his first campaign, and rightly so, for
his gross lack of knowledge about foreign affairs. So
poking fun at himself in this rather good natured way
is both funny and shows good humor and good sports-
manship. Also, it lightens the mood and really zings
Milosevic, refusing to give him ANY importance at
all, and essentially, buffooning and poking fun at him.
Which befits someone responsible for such genocide.

Milosevic definitely should not have been given any
serious respect upon stepping down. His stepping
down was merely a nicety. Like being asked if you
want to tun in your resignation when you're really
being fired. That is, if after your firing, you are go-
ing to be imprisoned, tried for war crimes, and ex-
ecuted (if your chronic illness doesn't getcha first).

So good on Bush for that quote as well. And...
This may be about the most positive thing you ever
hear me say about the Shrubster.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

This Is Definitely Not a Good Example

of one hand washing the other. Yes,
I'm aware that's a pejorative saying.
In fact,
The Right Hand & The Left Hand,

They are still found on the same
body right?

I'll have to finish this one later be-
cause I just don't have time to fully
respond to this ludicrous situation
right now.

News From Russia

So I'm just wonderin'
You know, as I often will.
Wonder about things I mean.
Just HOW stupid you would have to be
to READ this news story and not know
that one of these two women worked for
the CIA? I mean, as they say on Seinfeld,
"Not That There's Anything Wrong
With That..."

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I Am Totally

With the whole wanting a baby thing. I dont know why. Its all I
can do not to go up and snatch my sister's kid. I mean, he's fam-
ily. He even has some of my dna. I even feel a little entitled.
I'm sure she and her husband and the other grands would have
a little something to say about that though. ;)

So. Unless I can convince someone to be a surrogate with the eggs
I have left, I've been thinking about signing up as a foster-adopt.
It seems like Dylan and I take people in anyway, we might as well
do it a more formal manner. Its not as though I don't know my
way around that system, its what I did for a living for ten years.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

It's A Sickness Really

This posting of one's relatives online. I'm going to ask the
doctor if they have a patch or something out for it soon.
I promise.


Yes. THIS is the photo that will haunt him for the
REST of his life. His aunt will make certain of that
one. My nephew Roan. That is one GREAT photo!
My sister Michael below.

Monday, March 05, 2007

I Can't Help Myself

"They're seeking chemical, biological, and nucular weapons."
- George W. Bush November 6, 2001 Speaking from the White

House via satellite to Central European leaders gathered in
Warsaw, the President is referring to the goals of the Al-Qaida
terrorist group. Aired on ABC Evening News.

"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is im-
portant. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children
living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."
- George W. Bush October 24, 2000 From speech delivered

in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is
sometimes until we get an objective analysis."
- George W. Bush April 15, 2000 Comment made on

NBC's Meet the Press.

"I did denounce it. I de --- I denounced it. I denounced the
interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy --- bigotry."
- George W. Bush February 25, 2000 The candidate responding

to criticism that he visited Bob Jones University.

"You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-
leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles."
- George W. Bush July 23, 2001 Referring to his meeting with

President Vladimir Putin of Russia.

I Just Noticed...

They all have such long necks.
I never had a chance.

Fuck you. I'm allowed to be oblique.
It IS my name after all.

I Am So Weirded Out

Over these news stories about expensive dinners. So what if Kanye
West eats $3900 worth of Curry? I am actually surprised you can
fly Curry in from Wales for $3900 to tell you the truth. I would
have charged one hell of a lot more to go to all of that trouble. But
then again, I'd look a lot better carrying the Curry.

Seriously though. Are there really so few people in the U.S. who
have blown a lot on dinner and some wine? Let me rephrase. Are
there seriously so few people in the U.S. who have gotten some guy
to blow that much on dinner and some wine? I KNOW I am not
THAT privileged. There are some people in Beverly Hills scarfing
down some awfully good food every night and washing it down with
some overpriced bottles of Opus One.

Back to the Opus One, did you know that a blonde with big tits can
actually present a receipt for 12 bottles of wine that says they cost
$212 and are a gift from her boss at the Canadian border and pay
substantially less tax even though it turns out that perhaps the bot-
tles really ARE Opus One and the like? Nobody notices. Then again,
I'm not a blonde. And the Canadians are probably way too smart
for that. Just sayin'

Sunday, March 04, 2007

I Think The Time Has Come

For me to tell all of you something. Nicolette Sheridan is in
Desperate Need. Get it? Desperate? Ha! I amuse myself.
Which is such a good thing, because so few others do. At any
rate though, the woman is in dire need of, yes. A face lift.

She now has that rather unfortunate California blonde
alcoholic chardonnay look going. And it is not pleasant.
But, you say to me - she is PLAYING a blonde chardonnay
alcoholic. She is probably only suffering for her work. I
have this to say in response. If this look is Nicolette suf-
fering for her work, then she makes Nicole Kidman's trans-
formation in "The Hours" look like amateur day. I think
you get my point. But, you say to me, you are such a bitch!
Yes. So true. And a shallow one at that. Where were we?

I first noticed the crumple about oh, ten or twelve years
ago. Why is this always so much more obvious in blondes?
I was saddened. Yes, saddened I tell you. Because despite
all appearances to the contrary I am never happy about
the loss of beauty. Except in anyone that one of my exes
happens to be dating or say... married to presently. But
other than that I hate it when beauty fades. In anyone.

And Nicolette Sheridan was uncommonly beautiful. Breath-
takingly so. She was simply a gorgeous creature in her prime.
And I still think with a good doc and a little conservative sur-
gery with some fine dermabrasion or other skin aftercare she
could once again be fairly wonderful looking. Something she is
not pulling off well at the moment. And yes, the above photo
DOES look nice. But it is oh so air brushed. I dare you to watch
her on HDTV without cringing. Someone needs to sit her down
and talk to her. Do not go gently into that good night Nicolette,
or is it quietly? Either way, don't do it!

Thank you, that is my vapid post of the evening.