Thursday, October 06, 2005

If You Want to Go Out with Me

There is one thing that you should never do as a prelude to a date.

Never, ever send me a photo that shows you wearing a thong.
Most especially not a pink thong. I mean, if you're a guy. If you're
a girl, I won't go out with you, but go ahead, send the photo. But
truly, for a guy? It is the kiss of fucking death.

I think we've already established that I'm a boxers girl anyway.
But I can handle the tighty whities. The skivies. I CAN. But not
bikini briefs, not thongs, not on a guy. Never, no, not that. GROSS!
Dude, What the fuck were you thinking? I was totally THERE
until that photo! I mean, WTF!

13 comments:

Dan said...

So a heterosexual man sent you a picture of himself in a pink thong?

Are you sure he wasn't applying to become your gay housekeeper a la 'The Bird Cage'?

That's not right. Not right at all.

And if any women send you photos of themselves in thongs, send a copy my way!

Sydney said...

I need to write him back and ask, wait, were you applying for the housekeeper position? I must have misunderstood. I fucking NEED a housekeeper. I wonder if he does dishes. I don't think I could keep my dinner down AND watch a guy prance around in thongs though. This guys is a professional illusionist, he should have made me see some pants on that ass.

Dan said...

If he's a professional illusionist then how could you ever be certain that what he was showing was 'his'?

Never trust a person that fools people for a living.

Sydney said...

You're probably right. I've dated a lot of lawyers too and that's never worked out. Do you think its because they lie to people for a living?

Dan said...

Yes. Yes it is.

Perhaps you should look for a man in the computer industry? We're...I mean they're very good with their hands.

dreamgurl said...

a pink thong? that's just wrong.

MXV said...

Well, since I don't wear thongs of any color or bikini briefs, I guess I might be safe in asking you out if I ever find myself in your area.

What kind of weirdo wears a pink thong and sends someone a pic thinking "yeah, this will get her"?!

mrshife said...

Well at least he was wearing banana hammocks. Next time he may send you a photo sans panties.

David Amulet said...

Pink Thong Brother sounds like the kind of guy that sneaks around trying to look up women's skirts from 12 inches away or less ...

-- d.a.

.Ben. said...

What about dudes that wear no underwears at all? How do you feel about that?

Ranger Tom said...

Ad Speedos to that list Syd... Last time I was at the beach I saw plenty of folks of both sexes wearing them that shouldn't...

Sydney said...

I am very cool with no underwear. Its kind of like the boxers thing. In fact, I myself...

umm... nevermind.

Sydney said...

Hey wait a minute David, aren't YOU that kind of guy? ;)