Thursday, December 01, 2005

My Doctors Are Fond

of telling me that my body does not work like most people's. It
puzzles them. Which is a really not very confident inspiring
thing for a physician to say to you. You know, anything about
being, say, puzzled, or less than utterly certain. They should
just keep that shit to themselves.

So my body always runs at 97.3. But like, I don't think that this
is THAT unusual. My dad is like that too. So I tend to think of
it as HEREDITARY. Of course, so is Alzheimers. But anyway.
I don't think your body temperature is nearly as serious. I al-
ways wonder if I could drop down MORE or LESS than most
people before getting hypothermia. You know, like if I fell in an
ice covered lake or something.

And I rarely EVER get fevers. So for me, its weird to run a fever
of even 99 degrees. So yesterday morning, even though I was on
Cipro for the staph thingie, I get up and I feel a bit warm. Umm,
that's the other thing, instead of shivering when I get a fever? I
feel hot. I get cold and shiver when it goes down again. I know.
Weird.

So anyway, I go to the doctor. But my temp is only like 99. But
still, they don't like it cuz its first thing in the morning and my
temp always runs low and whatever, oh yeah, not whatever, but
the whole STAPH thing, so they give me a shot of rocifen or how-
ever you spell it, in the ass, which HURTS by the way. And then
I still have a fever last night and now my lymph nodes are all
swollen.

So I get up this MORNING and NOW my lymph nodes are still
swollen so I'm on Cipro and I go back in and now my temp is 100
and I get another shot on the OTHER side of my ass of the ro-
whatever (just so it will hurt equally badly to sit down on both ass
cheeks) umm... except for cindy told me to tell them to mix it with
xylophones or lidocaine or something so it didn't hurt quite as bad
and now I can play the scale out of my asshole.

Anyway, so they once again pried some blood out of me, and I feel
like shit. But my dad is not hurting as bad. So that's good. And
THERE you have it.

oh p.s. whenever I have a fever I get really delusional like? So I
watched this University of Tx/Nebraska game last night and I
was all excited because you know, the Longhorns won? And I
mean, what if they hadn't? And then I got to work this morning
after the shot and stuff and somebody said, you idiot, U.T. didn't
even play last night, that was a fucking re-run on ESPN classics
or something...

11 comments:

dreamgurl said...

LOL about the football game! =) Sorry you're still feeling bad AND now you have a sore ass to boot! Hope you get better soon.

soonerfan78 said...

ROFL!!....YOU HAD ME GOING THERE OFR A MINUTE....WHAT..I missed that game?!?!..lol

.Ben. said...

Maybe you got SARS.

Sydney said...

Thanks Ben, thats very comforting. But then, you're a comnforting kinda guy.

DGS1234 said...

Any game the 'Horns win is a good game, taped or not! Re: shot in the ass - at least it's a very Nice ass! Also, what key is yr ass? Feel better, kid.

Sydney said...

E Minor...

Clance' McClannahan said...

Glad your Dad is better. Sorry you aren't.

Clance' McClannahan said...

Feeling better I mean. Blessings...

nicole said...

Ugh, Sydney that sounds AWFUL. But I'm glad you're making a recovery.

Meanwhile, I feel like re-warmed roadkill and my hunch is that my own BOSS gave me the cooties.

Hoping that means I won't get any flack if I call in sick tomorrow...

Muh-muh-muh-ham-ham-ham-ad-ad A-a-a-a-llll-li said...

Uhh-uh-uh-uh-I-ii'm ss-ss-sssss-sssSSS-suhh-sohh-sorry tuh-tuh-t-t-to huh-huh-hhh-huh-hear uhh-uh-aa-a-uhh-ab-about yuh-y-y-y-yuhhh-your huh-huhh-hhh-health p-p-p-pppp-p-p-ppp!-puh-puhh-probb-prr-problems.

Uhh-uh-I nuhhn-nuh-n-n-n-know huh-huh-how th-thhh-thh-thhHHH!-that uh-uhh-uh-uh-is.

Bonanza Jellybean said...

I run at 97.6, so I totally get it. I'm sitting there telling them I have a fever, and they're like "well, not really." I also don't have reflexes in my knees at all. They don't listen to that either when I tell them.

ANYWAY... :)
Take care and I hope you feel better!!