Sunday, December 11, 2005

I Wonder

How Tom Cruise and the Spawn carrying vehicle formerly known
as Katie Holmes are doing? All has been soooo quiet on the Wes-
tern front of late. No more late night sofa switches on the sets of
any talk shows due to busted metal springs or anything?

Do you suppose she'll "get" to have any sort of career after she
delivers mini-cruiser? I mean, as long as she agrees not to take
any roles which might be viewed as less than wholesome and
seemly for The wife of THE TOM C. You know, nothing where
her character says... drinks, smokes - does drugs...

And speaking of drugs, I hope that natural childbirth thing works
out for her. If any guy tried to make me go through childbirth
without an epidural he'd damn well better stay out of the room
while it was happening because I'd probably kill somebody and
I'm sure I'd know where to "focus" my anger if you get my drift.
He'd be fucking BEGGING me to take the drugs before I was done
with his ass.

Poor Katie. You sold your soul so young. RIP


nicole said...

You're right, they have been extremely quiet lately and it's making me nervous. TomKat doesn't understand the meaning of discretion or subtlety so their silence can only mean one thing: they're cooking up a publicity stunt, the likes of which the world has never seen.

By the way, I'm ripping off "mini-cruiser" because that's pure genius.

dreamgurl said...

Somehow I got sucked into the insane crazy world of the Cruise. And I'm anxious for the next wierd update!

Anonymous said...

very discerning use of the word "spawn".

ngregory is right: "mini-cruiser" is a classic!

yellowdog granny said...

i think he felt he was getting un fair criticism about his antics her fired his sister the media gal...and hired new ones..pretty cold to fire your own they are laying low thinking we will forget what an ass they made of their selves...mainly himself..I hate to be mean.but i hope she comes down with a record breaking case of post partum depression and he is forced to medicate her or she will killl him...huh uhh