Sunday, December 03, 2006
Say No To Steve
So I decided that NOW,
FINALLY, since I have
other assets besides my
hair, then its ok for me
to go auburn again. I
mean, there is a certain
rather larger percentage
of the male population that REALLY DOES PREFER BLONDES.
However, I like myself better with darker hair. In sales, its
unfortunately important to worry a good bit about appearances
and about what the average man might prefer because hey! I sell
to men. Mostly men anyway. Yep, about 98.9% male I would say.
But I've noticed since the enhancements that men aren't really
looking all that much at my hair anymore. Sometimes they seem
to be able to hold an entire conversation with my chest alone. Which
is really funny. I usually get
a lot of flack for being "the
smart girl" (I know, difficult
to believe but true) so its fun-
ny now that it almost doesn't
matter what I say because a
lot of guys aren't hearing a
thing that comes out of my
mouth anyway. Which brings
me to Steve. My Ex. I mean my really EX EX because we split
up two years ago.
We had gotten back together for a romp in the hey the other
night. Right. I said "hey" and not hay. Because hey! It was
pretty good. It was though, I'm sure, completely courtesy of
the new breasts, because its not like it happened BEFORE I
got them. (I've always been known for my brutal self-
honesty and now is no exception.)
So anyway, I figured that was the last of that. Which is ok. I
mean, I DO have a date with an attorney and another date
with a newscaster from Birmingham. But there was some-
thing really comfortable and nice about being with someone
with whom I felt totally comfortable. But then he calls again,
so we agreed to get together. So. I didn't make weekend
plans. I cleaned the house. I even went so far as to think
about, well at least to entertain the thought of thinking
about, wearing the new garter belt and stocking set I'd
bought to go with one of the approximately 25 (yes count
them, TWENTY-FIVE) sexy new bras I've purchased
since the surgery.
And then? Nothing. No phone call. Bubkus. Nada. Zero.
Cero. Zilch. That's right.
So I thought to myself, "Well, he must have another date."
But hey, if he did, he should have TOLD me he had plans
so that I COULD make plans with say, the newscaster.
After all, he lives closer to me than the attorney.
But then I thought, "Is he just being a stupid weenie be-
cause I wrote in my other blog about how the fedex guy
asked me for my phone number?" Which is funny, be-
cause its not as though I'm actually going to go OUT with
the fedex guy, being the elitist snob that I am.
That's right. The gatekeeper to my vagina keeps out all
comers (ha! no pun) without at the very least, a four year
degree. Yes. I know. I just lost readers. So sorry. By-
Now that I have alienated many of you, let me go on with
my story. Thank you. Ok. So anyway. For whatever
reason, be it poutiness or just that he's got something
else to do, I was inconvenienced. I don't like to be in-
convenienced. No, Steve, NO! Bad Steve. Bye Steve.
Bye Bye Steve, Bye Bye
And also, I will be changing my blogsite because bad
Steve and his family all read my blog. That's right.
Not only did he accidentally forward one of my emails to
everyone who works for the space station program at
NASA, he also gave his family and God knows who else,
my blog address.