It's My Birthday

tomorrow. So Dylan and Tommy (who's Tommy you ask? - just
another kid I picked up in my spare time. You can never have
enough you know.) Anyway. They brought home my birthday
present. A few hours early of course. Kind of cool though.

Prison Tycoon. That's right. A computer game where I get to
make and build my own online prison. And if I'm pissed with some-
one, I can just stick them in there. I like it.

And Tenacious-D. Some kind of double DVD thing. In the pick
of Destiny. Good presents both. Good job Dylpickle.

It Should Not Come as a Surprise

to anyone, that I believe in libraries. By that, I mean that I be-
lieve in the sanctity of libraries. I believe in the work that they
do. Librarians frequently spend long hours for very little thanks
in order to open up a world of knowledge and history to anyone
who cares to partake. And unless you bring your items back
late, by and large, that world comes to you free.

I am not talking about school librarians here, I should hasten to
say. In general I've found that school librarians tend to attempt
to censor the world rather than open it up. They enjoy the short
hours afforded by the student schedule. And I can't remember
a time when one of them had a kind word to say. They are kind
of like school counselors. They may WORK at the school, but they
don't like the kids. And trust me, I have spent large VOLUMES
of time in libraries of all sorts. Public libraries, school libraries,
and otherwise. What kinds of other libraries have I visited?
Just never you mind.

When I was little growing up in Telluride, Colorado our library was
a very small room, perhaps 15 by 18 feet or so. I had read almost
every book in that library by the time I was in second or third
grade. Right, so I didn't have many friends. Shut up.

Anyway, I could never get my hands on enough books. I could
go anywhere without being bored if I had enough books with me.
To this day, I believe that I could exist in solitary confinement
as long as I had an endless supply of reading material of my
choice.

At some point during my pre-pubescent years, Judy Blume
wrote a book that, at the time, was controversial. Riddled with
pubescent angst about periods and training bras, it was called:
"Are You There God, It's Me Margaret."

Some school librarians refused to carry it. Some parents pro-
tested it. I lived in Telluride, easily the most liberal small town
in the nation at the time. There was no such fuss at our small
school. I read it. I was not terribly impressed. My own
mother had already explained the facts of life to me, along
with the proper anatomical terms and I didn't have any prob-
lems talking to God. I didn't always feel he listened very well,
but talking? Never a big problem for me.

But there was a HUGE uproar over this book, and also over
"Catcher in The Rye," and, "Lord of the Flies," and a few others
whose names I scarcely remember anymore. In fact, at that
time, many people in the South, fundamentalists in the religious
right, and the same groups in the midwest, actually burned
books and music frequently at big bonfires. Along with Ouija
boards, tarot cards and the like. Anything which smacked
of what was called, "the occult," and any books or music which
were considered either, "satanic," or "too worldly or secular."

On a very personal level, I'm against destroying expressions
of art. Particularly if it is the work of others. Art, whether it
be painting, music or writing, is something that really is of-
fered up and shared. It is supposed to be evocative in some
manner. It is something that people can come to and exper-
ience and the experience is a perpetual communication for
as long as that piece of work exists. And it is a different exper-
ience for each person, because no one person brings the same
set of values, sensibilities, life experiences and aesthetics to
the piece. And it is a different experience each time the same
person revisits the work, because they see new things in it,
and because they are not the same as the were the time be-
fore.

Of course, I'm speaking as if all works of writing and objects
of art and musical compositions are great works that we must
not miss. Anyone who has had to sit through an open-mike
on poetry night knows that this is unfortunately FAR from
being true. My point is, however, that it is not up to any of us
to censor for others, what should or should not be on that smor-
gasboard of selections. (Barring of course those items not in-
volving consenting adults, and anything at all in which teddy
bears are dressed up in baby doll clothes and then photo-
graphed for posters with cute sayings on the bottom. Also, I
think that possibly purple unicorns should be - What, too far?
ok.ok.) Anyway, I'm sure you get my point. Well, I'm not sure,
but you should. The world would be a much better place if
everyone would.

All of that preface was really just window dressing for these
two stories. Yes, told by others, you don't have to listen to
much more of me right now.

How petty and stupid are we as a society to fuss about an ana-
tomical term that every third grader should ALREADY know in:

THIS

When people are dying just to have the privilege of working with
books & archives and making certain that these resources are
still available in:

THIS

Americans really are quite the spoiled and ridiculous lot some-
times. Whining about the most minuscule things as if they were
really important somehow. I read something like that last article
and it makes me feel ashamed of ever complaining about my own
life.

FINALLY!

A beautiful woman with some real CURVES makes the cover
of a magazine! We need to see a whole lot more of this, and
far fewer of the anemic, anorexic models that have seemed
to proliferate Hollywood of late with their bony frames, sun-
ken faces, and breastbones that jut out unnaturally from their
emaciated chests. There is nothing sexy about starvation
and deprivation.

BEYONCE

MORE BEYONCE

Alrighty Then

So. It's been a very long time since I've been depressed. I
mean, a really long time. I pay good money for medication just
to avoid that sort of thing. And it works usually. And everything.
So I am really pissed to be going through it right now. Because if
there is anything I hate, it's pain. Physical or emotional. And be-
ing the impatient type, I don't enjoy waiting around for it to go
away. Again, with either type. Not into that, "time is the best
healer," crap. I mean, I know its true. I just don't LIKE it.

So, I'm trying to sell a lot of chicken. Because making money?
Always makes me happy. That's right. I'm shallow like that.
And I'm in the process of setting up some dates. Nothing like
appeals to the ego from men to make one feel better as well.
Oh. And I went shopping today. Lots of new clothes. Retail
therapy. Always helpful. And the hair. Getting that done to-
morrow. Let's see. What other superficial, vapid thing can
I do... Maybe a good wax or dermabrasion. I've been consi-
dering some collagen injections. I'll keep you updated.

How Accurate Is The News?

Shame on you CNN! You may or may not have seen a
story running today on CNN's Headline News about
a $25,000 Dinner that was prepared by Chefs flown
into Bangkok for 40 diners.

THE MENU
IS INSANE
WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE TO BE A TASTER...
AT THIS EVENT!
!!!!OMG!!!!

WAIT! Don't follow the next link! The one below!!!
Until you read the rest of what I have to say here.
Nooooo! Naughty Naughty. Don't even THINK about
touching...

your mouse.

Seriously. To see what CNN did, you have to do this
in the right order. Or it won't have the same effect.
Trust me on this, ok? Read this blog first.

MEAL OF A LIFETIME

CNN would have you believe that diners flew to
Bangkok to eat a meal prepared by the best chefs
in the world and in return, paid a sum of $25,000
apiece. And, that said meal was filled with fare
exquisite to the eye and palate, from near and
far, and wine of supreme vintage, bottles of which
have rarely, if ever, been gathered together and
drunk under one roof, at one time, during one
event. And. Everything that CNN says is true.
Except. That this is where their story ends.

And this is neither the beginning nor the ending
of the story. In fact, its not even a good rep-
resentation of a portion of the story. In my es-
timation.

So let's talk about the real story that CNN should
have covered had they felt like engaging in some
broadcast journalism today. This dinner was NOT
put together by a bunch of "foodies" who wanted
to see how much exotic food they could cram into
their faces for twenty-five grand. Because I've
got to tell you, for that amount, even with the
wine, you could hire one of the chefs who partici-
pated, buy the ingredients, and have him come to
your kitchen. True, if it was just you alone, you
might not have been able to afford the food and
every single bottle of wine on the menu, but
bring along one or two of the other guests at 25k
a pop and you'd have been set.

But THAT was not what THIS dinner was about.
This project was conceived for a two-prong pur-
pose. To promote tourism in Thailand while rais-
ing money for two extremely important charities
that benefit impoverished Thai people. The fab-
ulous food and wine was just a neat way to attract
donors, have them actually visit Thailand so that
they could see the place to which they were con-
tributing, and have a once in a lifetime decadent
unforgettable, sinfully fantastical 10 course meal
to boot.

But let's talk about those charities for a minute.
Since CNN could apparently give a damn.

1. The first is: Medecins Sans Frontieres - Trans-
lated into English, that organization is:
Doctors Without Borders. Right.
NOW it seems pretty familiar to you, I'm sure.
Here are some links though, just in case you've
slept through the last decade and have never
heard of it:

Doctors Without Borders - U.S. Site

Doctors Without Borders - International Site

2. The second charity is: The Chaipattana Foun-
dation - While I immediately recognized the first
charity, as I can read French, I had not heard of
this charity, so I looked it up. Chaipattana is a
Charitable Foundation set up by the King of Thai-
land in an attempt to deal with the massive pover-
ty and health crisis in his country by encouraging
development from within his country. Unlike many
sovereigns, this King does not raid the treasury
for his own gain, instead, in what has to be an
ALL-TIME royal first for any nation, he has used
his OWN money to help his impoverished country-
men.

This has lent global support to his efforts to spur
economic development. Before providing these
links, let me preface this by saying that when you
visit these sites it will at first appear a little
amusing to those of us who are American, because
we are not used to having Sovereign Rulers and Kings
(although some of our rulers have seemed to appear
to THINK they were sovereign - but that's for another
post).

So if you look at any of these links it may
at first appear unusual to you the deference to which
the writers refer to the King. The Beloved King, His
Majesty, His Majesty the King, etc. are titles always
used when referring to the King of Thailand. It would
appear though, that he is doing very good work and
really IS beloved by his people. A rare thing indeed.

This first link explains how the King gave his own
money to begin a foundation whose purpose was the
development of the country, particularly in terms of
rice paddies, farming, and helping the Thai people to
develop their own food sources for the future.

Embassy Explains Foundation Development

The Chaipattana Foundation

News article about The Chaipattana Foundation

By the way, the King of Thailand appears to be an
interesting chap all 'round. He is multi-lingual, has
I'm not certain how many degrees (more than one at
any rate), and is an engineer. He wasn't supposed to
be the King. That fell to his brother. He wasn't pre-
pared to be the King. And yet, since his brother died
and he became the new King by default, he has become
a ruler of extreme longevity whom the Thai people seem
t0 love and respect.

The King of Thailand

But back to the charities,
I know that in addition to attending to disease preven-
tion, which is a primary concern, Doctors without Bor-
ders also provides surgical intervention for children
born with facial and spinal deformities, who would oth-
erwise never have the opportunity for such medical in-
tervention. It is a marvelous organization. All of
the physicians who work for them volunteer their time
and are unpaid for their efforts. By the way, the web-
site has a volunteer area should anyone care to give
of their time.

Now we can look at the money. This dinner was set
up for forty people. There was a last minute problem
though. On New Year's Eve, several bomb blasts shook
Bangkok. Three people were killed. Thirty-eight people
were wounded. Nine of the wounded were from coun-
tries other than Thailand, on vacation, work, or what-
haveyou. Muslim extremists are the favorite suspects,
but truly, nobody knows who was behind it, and if the
authorities have any real idea, they aren't in a sharing.
mood. After the blasts, people visiting from abroad
were warned to leave in statements issued by many
foreign governments. Not exactly a boon to Thailand's
already broken economy.

New Year's Bomb Attack

In the wake of the bombing, the ten diners from Japan
decided that the security risk was too high, and they
bowed out of the event. So at the last minute, ten ad-
ditional people had to be found. Ten people who didn't
mind sitting next to next to Americans for dinner. Might
as well pin a bulls eye to your back these days. But
the seats were filled. Forty total Diners.

Now, even I can do basic math. 40 x $25,000 per plate =
WOW! A million dollars!

Ok. So I don't know if the vendors for the wine and food
donated the items as their contribution to the charity
event (frequently, this is done) or not, but even if the 200k
wine tab was removed, and the food deducted, I'd still say
there was a fair amount left for charity.

Which brings me, finally, (is anyone still with me on this ride?)
to my point. Why didn't CNN EVER MENTION that the
proceeds of this meal were going to be channeled to these
two fabulous charity organizations? If they had mentioned
the charities every time they ran the story can you imagine
how much good that might have done by bringing attention
to the charities? I'm not even certain they mentioned Thai-
land, the entire REASON for the event!

You'd have at the very least thought that they might have
mentioned this very NEWS-WORTHY part of this story. The
fact that the ten Japanese diners pulled out because of secur-
ity concerns due to the January bombings. That would have
made a GREAT story. I would love to have seen that story.

Ever wonder how safe it is to travel internationally right now
and which countries are considered the most volatile vs. the
most safe when you're looking to spend your frequent flyer
miles? I do. Ever wonder how many people are killed every
year while traveling (whether on business or pleasure) in for-
eign countries? I wonder about that all the time when I'm
thinking of planning vacations. That would have been a great
story and they could have tied it in with this one, using the
Japanese diners as a preface.

It would have been timely. Westerners have found them-
selves in danger in places other than the middle east.
Were you aware, for instance, that two Italian women were
stoned to death yesterday while vacationing off Cape Verde?
(off the coast of Africa) And that the third only survived
because the perpetrators thought she was dead? Of course
you weren't. CNN didn't tell you that on any of their headline
news segments. They were too busy reporting fluff stories
about $25,000 meals, and they couldn't even get those pieces
right. I'm not too busy though.

Here's a link: Three Italian Women Stoned at Cape Verde

So how accurate is the news? With the mere holding back of
a couple of key pieces of information, the story CNN aired
about the $25,000 per plate dinner CNN is turned on its
head. It makes the diners out to be gluttonous hedonists, as
opposed to philanthropists willing to visit a country in need
of their help, at their own personal risk, and donate funds
in the name of charity. And yep. In return, they are treated
to hopefully what will be the best meal of their lives.

CNN, DOUBLE SHAME ON YOU! One for each charity.

By the way, You can follow that link now.

Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole

So actually, I've really been upset by Anna Nicole
Smith's death. I always liked Anna Nicole. I admired
her. She took a lot of heat for doing whatever the
hell she wanted to do. I think a lot of her entertain-
ment persona was calculated on her part. Perhaps so
much that it became a part of her, or difficult for
her to turn off when she wasn't in front of the camera,
but it was staged nonetheless. Which was brilliant.
That's one of the things I liked about her.

I wasn't, however, really crazy about this latest incar-
nation of her with Howard Stern. She seemed to be not
at all herself with him, and also, following the death
of her son. But I think Stern used the death of her
son to prey upon her at a time when she was weak and
needed support. Ok. So -

Let me just say at the outset that I don't like Howard
Stern. I think he did much to isolate Anna Nicole Smith
and to get her really screwed up on drugs. I think its
instructive that the drugs found in her hotel room had
HIS name on them. Also, that the drugs given to her
son were apparently from his stash of prescriptions.
Also, he had such control over all of her actions that
her nurse was afraid to call EMS without going through
him. Which in and of itself may have cost her any chance
she had of surviving the episode in her hotel room when
she first lost consciousness. Who knows what might have
happened if the nurse had called EMS right away instead
of calling Stern and then waiting for Stern to call back
as she wasn't able to reach him right away. Stern must
have been VERY controlling if the nurse was afraid to call
911 even though the situation was so dire that the body-
guard was providing CPR. Think about that for a minute.
That's a guy who had to have practiced some intimidation
tactics in the past.

I'm hoping that her mother, who has had such horrible
things to say about Anna, isn't the one who ends up rais-
ing the child. It doesn't appear that she gave Anna a
very promising start in life. I understand exactly why
Larry Birkhead tried to get the emergency order. He was
afraid, given reports of large quantities of different
prescription drugs in the hotel room and the fact that
this is the second person in the immediate family to die
of what seems to possibly be a drug overdose, that what
he believes to be his baby is in immediate danger if left
with Howard Stern. A man he has to believe is not the
best of caretakers if he has now been at least peripheral-
ly responsible for two deaths. That of Anna Nicole's son,
and now, Anna Nicole. I can understand Larry Birkhead's
sense of extreme urgency. I would be feeling EXACTLY the
same way. In fact, I think I would be frustrated beyond
all imagination. Because if it does turn out that Anna
Nicole's death was complicated by prescription medica-
tions, and all of the medications in the room were writ-
ten for Howard Stern, then that can only mean that for
the second time in a few months, Mr. Stern has given a
lethal dose of his own medication to someone else.

Its a wonder that some equivalent of Child Protective
Services in the Bahamas doesn't step in and remove that
child immediately for the pendency of these legal pro-
ceedings, at least until it's determined who the child's
father and righful guardian is.

Oh, and what's this deal with Zsa Zsa's husband? The
Prince? Hell, I don't even want to go there...

This Just In -- The Vatican

The Pope, in a briefly worded press release that has
left citizens of Rome and Catholics around the world
stunned, has announced that he also may be Anna Ni-
cole Smith's Baby Daddy.