Good One

Those who know me well know that I am nothing if not
even-handed. So I must give props to the shrubster
(or his writers), whomever, for the following quotes.
I have been having no small amount of fun with my
little GW Bush Quote re-generator. So many mala-
propisms, so little time...

However, the following two quotes represent perhaps
the only two times that I find that Bush said something
that I find to be genuinely laugh out loud funny, some-
times even at his own expense. That is to say, he said
something clever. Twice.

Oh sure, it was four years years apart and the man
is the leader of the greatest civilized country in the
world, but what do you want from him anyway?
Don't answer that. I don't have enough space in my
comment section. It was merely rhetorical in nature.

With no further ado:

I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of
place where people stand outside, they're getting ready
to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and
get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man,
you're looking pretty.

--George w. Bush Washington, DC11/04/2004

now obviously, GW heard this somewhere, or it was
written for him. It doesn't fit his pattern of speech.
But it's funny as hell. And even more than that, oh so
true. And after having already spent four years in
office, Bush must have also seen this phenomenon
first-hand many many times.
------------------------------------
"We just had some really good news out of Yugoslavia.
I'm especially pleased that Mr. Milosevic has stepped
down. That's one less Polyslavic name for me to remem-
ber."
- George W. Bush October 19, 2000 Speaking at the
Al Smith Dinner in New York.

This one is great on several levels. First, Bush got
creamed during his first campaign, and rightly so, for
his gross lack of knowledge about foreign affairs. So
poking fun at himself in this rather good natured way
is both funny and shows good humor and good sports-
manship. Also, it lightens the mood and really zings
Milosevic, refusing to give him ANY importance at
all, and essentially, buffooning and poking fun at him.
Which befits someone responsible for such genocide.

Milosevic definitely should not have been given any
serious respect upon stepping down. His stepping
down was merely a nicety. Like being asked if you
want to tun in your resignation when you're really
being fired. That is, if after your firing, you are go-
ing to be imprisoned, tried for war crimes, and ex-
ecuted (if your chronic illness doesn't getcha first).
cide.

So good on Bush for that quote as well. And...
This may be about the most positive thing you ever
hear me say about the Shrubster.

This Is Definitely Not a Good Example

of one hand washing the other. Yes,
I'm aware that's a pejorative saying.
In fact,
The Right Hand & The Left Hand,

They are still found on the same
body right?

I'll have to finish this one later be-
cause I just don't have time to fully
respond to this ludicrous situation
right now.

News From Russia

So I'm just wonderin'
You know, as I often will.
Wonder about things I mean.
Just HOW stupid you would have to be
to READ this news story and not know
that one of these two women worked for
the CIA? I mean, as they say on Seinfeld,
"Not That There's Anything Wrong
With That..."

I Am Totally

With the whole wanting a baby thing. I dont know why. Its all I
can do not to go up and snatch my sister's kid. I mean, he's fam-
ily. He even has some of my dna. I even feel a little entitled.
I'm sure she and her husband and the other grands would have
a little something to say about that though. ;)

So. Unless I can convince someone to be a surrogate with the eggs
I have left, I've been thinking about signing up as a foster-adopt.
It seems like Dylan and I take people in anyway, we might as well
do it a more formal manner. Its not as though I don't know my
way around that system, its what I did for a living for ten years.

It's A Sickness Really

This posting of one's relatives online. I'm going to ask the

doctor if they have a patch or something out for it soon.

I promise.

SQUISHY FACE

Yes. THIS is the photo that will haunt him for the

REST of his life. His aunt will make certain of that

one. My nephew Roan. That is one GREAT photo!

My sister Michael below.

I Can't Help Myself

"They're seeking chemical, biological, and nucular weapons."
- George W. Bush November 6, 2001 Speaking from the White
House via satellite to Central European leaders gathered in
Warsaw, the President is referring to the goals of the Al-Qaida
terrorist group. Aired on ABC Evening News.


"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is im-
portant. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children
living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."
- George W. Bush October 24, 2000 From speech delivered
in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is
sometimes until we get an objective analysis."
- George W. Bush April 15, 2000 Comment made on
NBC's Meet the Press.

"I did denounce it. I de --- I denounced it. I denounced the
interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy --- bigotry."
- George W. Bush February 25, 2000 The candidate responding
to criticism that he visited Bob Jones University.

"You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-
leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles."
- George W. Bush July 23, 2001 Referring to his meeting with
President Vladimir Putin of Russia.

I Just Noticed...

They all have such long necks.
I never had a chance.






Fuck you. I'm allowed to be oblique.
It IS my name after all.

I Am So Weirded Out

Over these news stories about expensive dinners. So what if Kanye
West eats $3900 worth of Curry? I am actually surprised you can
fly Curry in from Wales for $3900 to tell you the truth. I would
have charged one hell of a lot more to go to all of that trouble. But
then again, I'd look a lot better carrying the Curry.

Seriously though. Are there really so few people in the U.S. who
have blown a lot on dinner and some wine? Let me rephrase. Are
there seriously so few people in the U.S. who have gotten some guy
to blow that much on dinner and some wine? I KNOW I am not
THAT privileged. There are some people in Beverly Hills scarfing
down some awfully good food every night and washing it down with
some overpriced bottles of Opus One.

Back to the Opus One, did you know that a blonde with big tits can
actually present a receipt for 12 bottles of wine that says they cost
$212 and are a gift from her boss at the Canadian border and pay
substantially less tax even though it turns out that perhaps the bot-
tles really ARE Opus One and the like? Nobody notices. Then again,
I'm not a blonde. And the Canadians are probably way too smart
for that. Just sayin'

I Think The Time Has Come

For me to tell all of you something. Nicolette Sheridan is in
Desperate Need. Get it? Desperate? Ha! I amuse myself.
Which is such a good thing, because so few others do. At any
rate though, the woman is in dire need of, yes. A face lift.

She now has that rather unfortunate California blonde
alcoholic chardonnay look going. And it is not pleasant.
But, you say to me - she is PLAYING a blonde chardonnay
alcoholic. She is probably only suffering for her work. I
have this to say in response. If this look is Nicolette suf-
fering for her work, then she makes Nicole Kidman's trans-
formation in "The Hours" look like amateur day. I think
you get my point. But, you say to me, you are such a bitch!
Yes. So true. And a shallow one at that. Where were we?

I first noticed the crumple about oh, ten or twelve years
ago. Why is this always so much more obvious in blondes?
I was saddened. Yes, saddened I tell you. Because despite
all appearances to the contrary I am never happy about
the loss of beauty. Except in anyone that one of my exes
happens to be dating or say... married to presently. But
other than that I hate it when beauty fades. In anyone.

And Nicolette Sheridan was uncommonly beautiful. Breath-
takingly so. She was simply a gorgeous creature in her prime.
And I still think with a good doc and a little conservative sur-
gery with some fine dermabrasion or other skin aftercare she
could once again be fairly wonderful looking. Something she is
not pulling off well at the moment. And yes, the above photo
DOES look nice. But it is oh so air brushed. I dare you to watch
her on HDTV without cringing. Someone needs to sit her down
and talk to her. Do not go gently into that good night Nicolette,
or is it quietly? Either way, don't do it!

Thank you, that is my vapid post of the evening.

It's My Birthday

tomorrow. So Dylan and Tommy (who's Tommy you ask? - just
another kid I picked up in my spare time. You can never have
enough you know.) Anyway. They brought home my birthday
present. A few hours early of course. Kind of cool though.

Prison Tycoon. That's right. A computer game where I get to
make and build my own online prison. And if I'm pissed with some-
one, I can just stick them in there. I like it.

And Tenacious-D. Some kind of double DVD thing. In the pick
of Destiny. Good presents both. Good job Dylpickle.

It Should Not Come as a Surprise

to anyone, that I believe in libraries. By that, I mean that I be-
lieve in the sanctity of libraries. I believe in the work that they
do. Librarians frequently spend long hours for very little thanks
in order to open up a world of knowledge and history to anyone
who cares to partake. And unless you bring your items back
late, by and large, that world comes to you free.

I am not talking about school librarians here, I should hasten to
say. In general I've found that school librarians tend to attempt
to censor the world rather than open it up. They enjoy the short
hours afforded by the student schedule. And I can't remember
a time when one of them had a kind word to say. They are kind
of like school counselors. They may WORK at the school, but they
don't like the kids. And trust me, I have spent large VOLUMES
of time in libraries of all sorts. Public libraries, school libraries,
and otherwise. What kinds of other libraries have I visited?
Just never you mind.

When I was little growing up in Telluride, Colorado our library was
a very small room, perhaps 15 by 18 feet or so. I had read almost
every book in that library by the time I was in second or third
grade. Right, so I didn't have many friends. Shut up.

Anyway, I could never get my hands on enough books. I could
go anywhere without being bored if I had enough books with me.
To this day, I believe that I could exist in solitary confinement
as long as I had an endless supply of reading material of my
choice.

At some point during my pre-pubescent years, Judy Blume
wrote a book that, at the time, was controversial. Riddled with
pubescent angst about periods and training bras, it was called:
"Are You There God, It's Me Margaret."

Some school librarians refused to carry it. Some parents pro-
tested it. I lived in Telluride, easily the most liberal small town
in the nation at the time. There was no such fuss at our small
school. I read it. I was not terribly impressed. My own
mother had already explained the facts of life to me, along
with the proper anatomical terms and I didn't have any prob-
lems talking to God. I didn't always feel he listened very well,
but talking? Never a big problem for me.

But there was a HUGE uproar over this book, and also over
"Catcher in The Rye," and, "Lord of the Flies," and a few others
whose names I scarcely remember anymore. In fact, at that
time, many people in the South, fundamentalists in the religious
right, and the same groups in the midwest, actually burned
books and music frequently at big bonfires. Along with Ouija
boards, tarot cards and the like. Anything which smacked
of what was called, "the occult," and any books or music which
were considered either, "satanic," or "too worldly or secular."

On a very personal level, I'm against destroying expressions
of art. Particularly if it is the work of others. Art, whether it
be painting, music or writing, is something that really is of-
fered up and shared. It is supposed to be evocative in some
manner. It is something that people can come to and exper-
ience and the experience is a perpetual communication for
as long as that piece of work exists. And it is a different exper-
ience for each person, because no one person brings the same
set of values, sensibilities, life experiences and aesthetics to
the piece. And it is a different experience each time the same
person revisits the work, because they see new things in it,
and because they are not the same as the were the time be-
fore.

Of course, I'm speaking as if all works of writing and objects
of art and musical compositions are great works that we must
not miss. Anyone who has had to sit through an open-mike
on poetry night knows that this is unfortunately FAR from
being true. My point is, however, that it is not up to any of us
to censor for others, what should or should not be on that smor-
gasboard of selections. (Barring of course those items not in-
volving consenting adults, and anything at all in which teddy
bears are dressed up in baby doll clothes and then photo-
graphed for posters with cute sayings on the bottom. Also, I
think that possibly purple unicorns should be - What, too far?
ok.ok.) Anyway, I'm sure you get my point. Well, I'm not sure,
but you should. The world would be a much better place if
everyone would.

All of that preface was really just window dressing for these
two stories. Yes, told by others, you don't have to listen to
much more of me right now.

How petty and stupid are we as a society to fuss about an ana-
tomical term that every third grader should ALREADY know in:

THIS

When people are dying just to have the privilege of working with
books & archives and making certain that these resources are
still available in:

THIS

Americans really are quite the spoiled and ridiculous lot some-
times. Whining about the most minuscule things as if they were
really important somehow. I read something like that last article
and it makes me feel ashamed of ever complaining about my own
life.

FINALLY!

A beautiful woman with some real CURVES makes the cover
of a magazine! We need to see a whole lot more of this, and
far fewer of the anemic, anorexic models that have seemed
to proliferate Hollywood of late with their bony frames, sun-
ken faces, and breastbones that jut out unnaturally from their
emaciated chests. There is nothing sexy about starvation
and deprivation.

BEYONCE

MORE BEYONCE

Alrighty Then

So. It's been a very long time since I've been depressed. I
mean, a really long time. I pay good money for medication just
to avoid that sort of thing. And it works usually. And everything.
So I am really pissed to be going through it right now. Because if
there is anything I hate, it's pain. Physical or emotional. And be-
ing the impatient type, I don't enjoy waiting around for it to go
away. Again, with either type. Not into that, "time is the best
healer," crap. I mean, I know its true. I just don't LIKE it.

So, I'm trying to sell a lot of chicken. Because making money?
Always makes me happy. That's right. I'm shallow like that.
And I'm in the process of setting up some dates. Nothing like
appeals to the ego from men to make one feel better as well.
Oh. And I went shopping today. Lots of new clothes. Retail
therapy. Always helpful. And the hair. Getting that done to-
morrow. Let's see. What other superficial, vapid thing can
I do... Maybe a good wax or dermabrasion. I've been consi-
dering some collagen injections. I'll keep you updated.

How Accurate Is The News?

Shame on you CNN! You may or may not have seen a
story running today on CNN's Headline News about
a $25,000 Dinner that was prepared by Chefs flown
into Bangkok for 40 diners.

THE MENU
IS INSANE
WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE TO BE A TASTER...
AT THIS EVENT!
!!!!OMG!!!!

WAIT! Don't follow the next link! The one below!!!
Until you read the rest of what I have to say here.
Nooooo! Naughty Naughty. Don't even THINK about
touching...

your mouse.

Seriously. To see what CNN did, you have to do this
in the right order. Or it won't have the same effect.
Trust me on this, ok? Read this blog first.

MEAL OF A LIFETIME

CNN would have you believe that diners flew to
Bangkok to eat a meal prepared by the best chefs
in the world and in return, paid a sum of $25,000
apiece. And, that said meal was filled with fare
exquisite to the eye and palate, from near and
far, and wine of supreme vintage, bottles of which
have rarely, if ever, been gathered together and
drunk under one roof, at one time, during one
event. And. Everything that CNN says is true.
Except. That this is where their story ends.

And this is neither the beginning nor the ending
of the story. In fact, its not even a good rep-
resentation of a portion of the story. In my es-
timation.

So let's talk about the real story that CNN should
have covered had they felt like engaging in some
broadcast journalism today. This dinner was NOT
put together by a bunch of "foodies" who wanted
to see how much exotic food they could cram into
their faces for twenty-five grand. Because I've
got to tell you, for that amount, even with the
wine, you could hire one of the chefs who partici-
pated, buy the ingredients, and have him come to
your kitchen. True, if it was just you alone, you
might not have been able to afford the food and
every single bottle of wine on the menu, but
bring along one or two of the other guests at 25k
a pop and you'd have been set.

But THAT was not what THIS dinner was about.
This project was conceived for a two-prong pur-
pose. To promote tourism in Thailand while rais-
ing money for two extremely important charities
that benefit impoverished Thai people. The fab-
ulous food and wine was just a neat way to attract
donors, have them actually visit Thailand so that
they could see the place to which they were con-
tributing, and have a once in a lifetime decadent
unforgettable, sinfully fantastical 10 course meal
to boot.

But let's talk about those charities for a minute.
Since CNN could apparently give a damn.

1. The first is: Medecins Sans Frontieres - Trans-
lated into English, that organization is:
Doctors Without Borders. Right.
NOW it seems pretty familiar to you, I'm sure.
Here are some links though, just in case you've
slept through the last decade and have never
heard of it:

Doctors Without Borders - U.S. Site

Doctors Without Borders - International Site

2. The second charity is: The Chaipattana Foun-
dation - While I immediately recognized the first
charity, as I can read French, I had not heard of
this charity, so I looked it up. Chaipattana is a
Charitable Foundation set up by the King of Thai-
land in an attempt to deal with the massive pover-
ty and health crisis in his country by encouraging
development from within his country. Unlike many
sovereigns, this King does not raid the treasury
for his own gain, instead, in what has to be an
ALL-TIME royal first for any nation, he has used
his OWN money to help his impoverished country-
men.

This has lent global support to his efforts to spur
economic development. Before providing these
links, let me preface this by saying that when you
visit these sites it will at first appear a little
amusing to those of us who are American, because
we are not used to having Sovereign Rulers and Kings
(although some of our rulers have seemed to appear
to THINK they were sovereign - but that's for another
post).

So if you look at any of these links it may
at first appear unusual to you the deference to which
the writers refer to the King. The Beloved King, His
Majesty, His Majesty the King, etc. are titles always
used when referring to the King of Thailand. It would
appear though, that he is doing very good work and
really IS beloved by his people. A rare thing indeed.

This first link explains how the King gave his own
money to begin a foundation whose purpose was the
development of the country, particularly in terms of
rice paddies, farming, and helping the Thai people to
develop their own food sources for the future.

Embassy Explains Foundation Development

The Chaipattana Foundation

News article about The Chaipattana Foundation

By the way, the King of Thailand appears to be an
interesting chap all 'round. He is multi-lingual, has
I'm not certain how many degrees (more than one at
any rate), and is an engineer. He wasn't supposed to
be the King. That fell to his brother. He wasn't pre-
pared to be the King. And yet, since his brother died
and he became the new King by default, he has become
a ruler of extreme longevity whom the Thai people seem
t0 love and respect.

The King of Thailand

But back to the charities,
I know that in addition to attending to disease preven-
tion, which is a primary concern, Doctors without Bor-
ders also provides surgical intervention for children
born with facial and spinal deformities, who would oth-
erwise never have the opportunity for such medical in-
tervention. It is a marvelous organization. All of
the physicians who work for them volunteer their time
and are unpaid for their efforts. By the way, the web-
site has a volunteer area should anyone care to give
of their time.

Now we can look at the money. This dinner was set
up for forty people. There was a last minute problem
though. On New Year's Eve, several bomb blasts shook
Bangkok. Three people were killed. Thirty-eight people
were wounded. Nine of the wounded were from coun-
tries other than Thailand, on vacation, work, or what-
haveyou. Muslim extremists are the favorite suspects,
but truly, nobody knows who was behind it, and if the
authorities have any real idea, they aren't in a sharing.
mood. After the blasts, people visiting from abroad
were warned to leave in statements issued by many
foreign governments. Not exactly a boon to Thailand's
already broken economy.

New Year's Bomb Attack

In the wake of the bombing, the ten diners from Japan
decided that the security risk was too high, and they
bowed out of the event. So at the last minute, ten ad-
ditional people had to be found. Ten people who didn't
mind sitting next to next to Americans for dinner. Might
as well pin a bulls eye to your back these days. But
the seats were filled. Forty total Diners.

Now, even I can do basic math. 40 x $25,000 per plate =
WOW! A million dollars!

Ok. So I don't know if the vendors for the wine and food
donated the items as their contribution to the charity
event (frequently, this is done) or not, but even if the 200k
wine tab was removed, and the food deducted, I'd still say
there was a fair amount left for charity.

Which brings me, finally, (is anyone still with me on this ride?)
to my point. Why didn't CNN EVER MENTION that the
proceeds of this meal were going to be channeled to these
two fabulous charity organizations? If they had mentioned
the charities every time they ran the story can you imagine
how much good that might have done by bringing attention
to the charities? I'm not even certain they mentioned Thai-
land, the entire REASON for the event!

You'd have at the very least thought that they might have
mentioned this very NEWS-WORTHY part of this story. The
fact that the ten Japanese diners pulled out because of secur-
ity concerns due to the January bombings. That would have
made a GREAT story. I would love to have seen that story.

Ever wonder how safe it is to travel internationally right now
and which countries are considered the most volatile vs. the
most safe when you're looking to spend your frequent flyer
miles? I do. Ever wonder how many people are killed every
year while traveling (whether on business or pleasure) in for-
eign countries? I wonder about that all the time when I'm
thinking of planning vacations. That would have been a great
story and they could have tied it in with this one, using the
Japanese diners as a preface.

It would have been timely. Westerners have found them-
selves in danger in places other than the middle east.
Were you aware, for instance, that two Italian women were
stoned to death yesterday while vacationing off Cape Verde?
(off the coast of Africa) And that the third only survived
because the perpetrators thought she was dead? Of course
you weren't. CNN didn't tell you that on any of their headline
news segments. They were too busy reporting fluff stories
about $25,000 meals, and they couldn't even get those pieces
right. I'm not too busy though.

Here's a link: Three Italian Women Stoned at Cape Verde

So how accurate is the news? With the mere holding back of
a couple of key pieces of information, the story CNN aired
about the $25,000 per plate dinner CNN is turned on its
head. It makes the diners out to be gluttonous hedonists, as
opposed to philanthropists willing to visit a country in need
of their help, at their own personal risk, and donate funds
in the name of charity. And yep. In return, they are treated
to hopefully what will be the best meal of their lives.

CNN, DOUBLE SHAME ON YOU! One for each charity.

By the way, You can follow that link now.

Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole

So actually, I've really been upset by Anna Nicole
Smith's death. I always liked Anna Nicole. I admired
her. She took a lot of heat for doing whatever the
hell she wanted to do. I think a lot of her entertain-
ment persona was calculated on her part. Perhaps so
much that it became a part of her, or difficult for
her to turn off when she wasn't in front of the camera,
but it was staged nonetheless. Which was brilliant.
That's one of the things I liked about her.

I wasn't, however, really crazy about this latest incar-
nation of her with Howard Stern. She seemed to be not
at all herself with him, and also, following the death
of her son. But I think Stern used the death of her
son to prey upon her at a time when she was weak and
needed support. Ok. So -

Let me just say at the outset that I don't like Howard
Stern. I think he did much to isolate Anna Nicole Smith
and to get her really screwed up on drugs. I think its
instructive that the drugs found in her hotel room had
HIS name on them. Also, that the drugs given to her
son were apparently from his stash of prescriptions.
Also, he had such control over all of her actions that
her nurse was afraid to call EMS without going through
him. Which in and of itself may have cost her any chance
she had of surviving the episode in her hotel room when
she first lost consciousness. Who knows what might have
happened if the nurse had called EMS right away instead
of calling Stern and then waiting for Stern to call back
as she wasn't able to reach him right away. Stern must
have been VERY controlling if the nurse was afraid to call
911 even though the situation was so dire that the body-
guard was providing CPR. Think about that for a minute.
That's a guy who had to have practiced some intimidation
tactics in the past.

I'm hoping that her mother, who has had such horrible
things to say about Anna, isn't the one who ends up rais-
ing the child. It doesn't appear that she gave Anna a
very promising start in life. I understand exactly why
Larry Birkhead tried to get the emergency order. He was
afraid, given reports of large quantities of different
prescription drugs in the hotel room and the fact that
this is the second person in the immediate family to die
of what seems to possibly be a drug overdose, that what
he believes to be his baby is in immediate danger if left
with Howard Stern. A man he has to believe is not the
best of caretakers if he has now been at least peripheral-
ly responsible for two deaths. That of Anna Nicole's son,
and now, Anna Nicole. I can understand Larry Birkhead's
sense of extreme urgency. I would be feeling EXACTLY the
same way. In fact, I think I would be frustrated beyond
all imagination. Because if it does turn out that Anna
Nicole's death was complicated by prescription medica-
tions, and all of the medications in the room were writ-
ten for Howard Stern, then that can only mean that for
the second time in a few months, Mr. Stern has given a
lethal dose of his own medication to someone else.

Its a wonder that some equivalent of Child Protective
Services in the Bahamas doesn't step in and remove that
child immediately for the pendency of these legal pro-
ceedings, at least until it's determined who the child's
father and righful guardian is.

Oh, and what's this deal with Zsa Zsa's husband? The
Prince? Hell, I don't even want to go there...

This Just In -- The Vatican

The Pope, in a briefly worded press release that has
left citizens of Rome and Catholics around the world
stunned, has announced that he also may be Anna Ni-
cole Smith's Baby Daddy.

Happy to see the End

of 2006. Years ending with the number six seem, for whatever
reason, to have been a little unkind to me and to those I love
(at least if 1996 and 2006 have been any indication), so I'm
glad to see it out the door. Just to Celebrate, we opened a
bottle of wine that I received as a gift in '96, quite possi-
ly, oh hell -- hands down the worst year of my life -- and
drank down all of the bad luck. I'm reckless with luck that
way, walking under ladders, opening umbrellas indoors... I
fully expect we drained all of the bad luck of that year, and
this past year, a pale shadow in the misery department, but
not a real peach of a year nonetheless, last night.

Oh, and Steve called. Kind of a calculated thing on his part,
using Christmas to soften me up before calling to see if I'm
still mad at him, but anyway. Have to give him points for be-
ing smart about it. I would have done the same thing in his
shoes.

Waiting for Valerie

So my best friend is coming over because I am SO LONELY with-
out Dylan, who is with his dad in Austin. I'm driving in on Wednes-
day or Thursday though - whenever I can get business finished up
here. I have a lot of loads to get straight for the end of next week.
Things that definitely need to be run and billed out before the end
of the year if I'm going to break even this month. Oy. Capitalism,
gotta love it.

Then in January we have the poultry convention in Atlanta. That's
always a rollicking good time, what with everyone trying to drink
each other under the table. Oh and this year there will be the spe-
cial added pressure of trying to both outmaneuver and stay away
from my old boss. Although, I have a broker coming in from Ohio.
He's a pretty big guy, former ball player and whatever. I guess he
can help play keepaway. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing
quite honestly.

I DO have the tits though! Wonder if anyone will notice? That's
just a joke. The poultry industry is very small when it comes to
gossip and there aren't that many women in sales. They'll notice.

I am really self-absorbed aren't I? Yes. Ok. Now that we've had
that brief moment of uncomfortable self-enlightenment, let's
move on, because it was really yucky.

So the running of loads is really a painstaking and thankless task,
which is why, I suppose, I make money doing it. But this week
its going to also be almost impossible to pull off what with the
holidays. Plants will try to (try? Hell, they out and out will ship
the incoming meat short, so there won't be enough product to
run. I can predict that at the outset). Then on top of that, I have
to have a truck pick up breading Wednesday night which may or
may not really be ready on time. I mean it should be ready but
hey. Its the fucking holidays. And, I need to find two trucks to
ship to California on Friday and Saturday, again... over the Holi-
days.

And by the way? People aren't just clamoring to leave their fam-
ilies and go driving dead chickens up and down the highways over
Christmas and New Year's. They aren't really lining up. So, it's
a toss-up.

And if I can't pull off all of these runs and all of these trucks?
Well, it's all bad from there.

Umm... Yes

When I said that there would be the occasional dash of wit in my
blog? I did NOT MEAN that it would be RIGHT THERE in the
the header where the very WORD OCCASIONAL has been
spelled incorrectly lo these past however long... (how the hell long
have I been here anyway?) Nevermind. That's not the point.
Not once mind you. Oh no. Twice. How high do you have to be
to do that twice? I'm talking about you not TELLING me vis a vis
that question just in case you were wondering, and not about me
doing it in the first place, although I can see why you might have
been confused.

Are you the same group of people who would let me, your friend,
walk around with parsley in my teeth and not said anything at all!?
Well! Are you? Yes. You are. You are exactly that same group of
friends. I know you well.